Rewiring Old and Limiting Beliefs

I’ve had an old limiting belief that’s been kicking my ass since I was a kid and up until recently, it’s been a big roadblock for me in so many ways. Relationships, work, parenting, creativity, self-confidence…pretty much all aspects of my life, it manages to show up in all of it.

My limiting belief has been that I don’t matter, that I’m not special, that I’m forgettable, and that my voice isn’t worth hearing. I’ve been working on this daily and while it’s not easy, it’s worth it.

So where did this limiting belief come from? Through some coaching, I looked back to my earliest memory of when I started to believe this about myself. Without getting into specifics, I remember being ignored when I needed to be cared for. What this taught me was to keep quiet and to rely on myself for what I needed. This belief kept me from asking for what I needed; I relied on myself because I believed no one else would show up for me.

I retreated into myself and lost confidence. I felt unloved and not worth caring for. I allowed this belief to solidify when a coach yelled at me in front of the whole team, a boyfriend treated me like shit, when friends bailed on me, when people ignored me, when I see people and they forgot they met me before (no lie, I met this woman in my neighborhood no less than five times before she finally recognized me), or when I’ve said something and someone else says it two minutes later as if it was their idea.

I used all of those situations as “proof” that I wasn’t special. Sort of a self-deprecating “See, I told you so!” But as I began doing this work, I realized I actually manifested many of those “proof” moments. When I believed I wasn’t special, I stayed quiet. No wonder people forgot about me…I made myself invisible. I didn’t ask much from people nor did I ask for what I needed so it shouldn’t have been a surprise when they let me down. I allowed those people with shitty memories believe we’d never met. I cried myself to sleep rather than tell my boyfriend that I was hurt by his actions.

I manifested them because I expected them. I didn’t believe I was worthy of being cared for so I allowed for less. How was I supposed to feel different about myself if I set myself up for exactly what I got?

What I’ve been learning how to rewire all of this is through meditation and embodying a new vision for myself. First, I write what I’m grateful for and take that feeling with me as I meditate. After meditation, I go back to this first memory of my limiting belief, in this case, my feeling of being “not worthy.” Then I picture that event happening differently. I see myself getting the love and care I needed. I see myself asking for what I needed. Then I let the vision develop into something new. It’s like that book that has more than one ending. This time I get to choose a different ending. I envision what would have happened if I had gotten what I needed. I see myself with a huge smile on my face, having contagious joy, gobs of confidence, tons of friends around me, and having life experiences that revealed my talents and gifts.

The next step I do is I say a prayer releasing my limiting belief. I let this new higher feeling about that past event flow into a specific vision I have for my future. I use that joy and confidence to take my vision to places I hadn’t allowed to dream for myself before. My mind shoots off in all sorts of directions and I’m filled with the expectation that this vision will become my reality. I see myself in my vision in all areas: how I’m dressed, who I’m with, how I live each day, where I live, etc. I see it like a movie and when I do it day after day, it feels more like me each time.

When I’m done with this rewiring and vision exercise, I make sure I take the feelings I experienced into my day. I intentionally make time for things that build my confidence, give me joy, and use my gifts. This is hard because I can so easily slip back into old patterns of letting life float by. I journal, I reflect, and I make this new state of being who I am now. I want my vision to become reality more than I want to feel the safety of my comfort zone.

My old limiting belief of not being enough has held me back from sooo much joy. I sabotaged things left and right because I subconsciously believed I wasn’t going to have the “thing” so I might as well give up now. I quit before I could prove myself right.

How many of you recognize this same behavior in yourself? I’m telling you, this rewiring work is so damn important. It wasn’t until I identified the first memory of when this limiting belief started that I could start letting it go.

The workshop I did (called Magic Makers) is only offered once a year (who knows, that may change) but if you’re interested in learning more, you can get on the mailing list here. Until it’s open again for enrollment, here are some books to help you get started on rewiring your own limiting beliefs.