Sleeping like a starfish.

Waking up with the sun and not by an alarm, another person, dog or unnatural source of noise.

Eating what we want, where we want, whenever we want.

Being on no one else’s schedule but our own.

Sitting in silence.

Reading uninterrupted for hours.

No responsibilities except to ourselves.

Sound like heaven? You may think this sounds too good to be true but this is exactly what you’d get if you went on a solo retreat.

I’ve been looking into it because I am craving some alone time (blaming Quarantine big time) and I want to have all the things I listed above.

As moms and spouses/significant others, we have responsibilities outside of ourselves and a lot of the time, we make many of our decisions with others in mind. A solo retreat is for us and us alone. I can’t think of a more relaxing time than one that requires the least amount of decisions as possible.

So, how do we find the right solo retreat for us? Here are some steps to consider and some ideas of where you can go.

COST/TIME/TRAVEL

They’re the first to consider because they narrow down the search. This is actually a good thing because by limiting our choices, it helps decrease the overwhelm. And I think we’ve all had our share of that this year.

We need to work out a budget of how much we want to spend for our trip: a place to stay, travel costs, food, and activities (if any) while we’re there. There are also hosted retreats that take care of a big chunk of those things in their price so that may be a great option if you (also me) don’t want to mess with a bunch of details.

The next thing I need to figure out is when we want to go and for how long. Actually, flip that. First we need to figure out how much time we have to get away and then find out where that amount of time is available in our calendars. Also, do we want to drive or fly? Maybe train even. If we want four days of retreating but we only have five days available, we’re going to have to settle for something within a few hours drive or a very quick flight.

THE WHAT

Do we want to explore and adventure, spa time and relaxation, time to write, or nothing but time on the beach listening to the ocean and reading all the books?

All of them sound amazing but we have to know the purpose of our trip before we can choose the what. This is OUR trip so we need to make sure we are crystal clear on what we need and what kind of trip can deliver that.

WHY IT’S GOOD FOR US

We need to let go.

Letting go of distractions and heaviness that we’ve been holding onto. We can easily let life carry us along with all the happenings in our daily lives: all the kids’ activities, the firehouse of awful news, demands of work and family, and a million other things we carry around on our shoulders. Time away alone is a great way to let all of that go and just be.

Connecting and getting clear with ourselves

Being alone is a great way to reconnect with ourselves—there are no demands by our family and no opinions except our own. We finally have time to literally hear ourselves think! Isn’t this what we’ve been asking for since the dawn of time? This is the time to hear what our souls are telling us, what our hearts are yearning for, and what direction we need to go next.

Personal growth

Doing this thing alone, showing independence and courage, is part of our personal growth. This may be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone but I can tell you from experience that it is where I’ve learned the most about myself as well as grown the most.

A solo retreat is an excellent tool for pushing ourselves past our status quo and learning how to do new things. You know how the saying goes, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”

Creates feelings freedom and independence

This is one of my biggest reasons I’m looking into a solo retreat. Being on my own and deciding when, where, what, and how is where I feel free. Like I mentioned earlier, when we become spouses and/or parents, we have others to consider when we make our decisions. Solo travel takes us back to a time when we had only ourselves to care for. Freedom is like IV therapy for the soul. It makes us feel young again, energized and ready to take on the world.

What’s wonderful about solo retreating is that there is no financial threshold you have to cross. It’s up to you what you want to spend. Here’s some ideas for every budget.

IDEAS

Economical

• Tiny cabins for rent like these

• Bed and Breakfast in a neighboring town.

• Apply for a writing residency

Unique

• Airbnb - here’s a link to everything from treehouses to tiny houses to barns

• National Geographic Lodges around the world

• Glamping - glamorous camping - is there another way to camp?!

Money Schmoney

• Sensei Lānaʻi, A Four Seasons Resort in Hawaii

• Mountain getaways like this one at Vista Verde Ranch or these yoga retreats.

• Four Seasons Private Retreats

I’ll make sure to blog about what I end up doing but I’d love to hear if you’ve done a solo retreat before and where. Share in the comments where you’ve gone or where you’d like to go.