You Say It's Your Birthday? Plan Your Own Day and Never Be Disappointed Again.

A few years ago, I anticipated my upcoming 40th birthday just like everyone else. We cross our fingers that our spouse/friends are planning something big to celebrate this monumental birthday! But then the dread of disappointment hangs in the air of each day leading up to our birthday. There is no hint of a big celebration and no bags have been packed. We know because we keep checking the closet where the luggage is stored.

I didn’t expect a surprise trip but I had zero indication that there were any plans. I finally confronted my husband and asked if there were any plans to celebrate my 40th. He rolled his eyes and said “Of course, calm down.”

The reason I was a little antsy was that 40th celebrations are a big deal. We are at the halfway point (or hopefully a tad less than) and making it to this point in our lives deserves a big celebration. We see friends who have crossed this threshold before us commemorating with vacationing with their best couples friends, a spouse, or their best girlfriends to surprise parties or once in a lifetime gifts.

We want to feel special; celebrated by our closest friends and family with a day to remember for the rest of our lives. But for many of us, what we picture in our minds and what actually happens is bound to disappoint us. That is if we let others try to live up to our expectations that we didn’t even tell them we had!

My 40th was spent in my basement while torrential rains and tornado sirens were happening on outside. The plans were to have dinner with four other couples at a nice restaurant and when we cancelled due to Mother Nature, it never got rescheduled. Wah, wah. So my birthday sucked. My husband turned 40 six months after me and while we said it was a co-40th celebration, having a party bus wasn’t what I would have chosen. It fits his personality perfectly so I went with it.

At the time, I didn’t make a big deal about it but later, as I ticked off another year in my 40s, I realized I got gipped….by me. I was angry at myself for expecting something big for my birthday and having nothing to do with the planning. Sure, it takes away the element of surprise but how many surprise parties have you actually had that turned out just like you’d seen on television? Birthdays are often like New Year’s Eve. A whole lot of hype and then it all seems to fall short.

So for number 42, I said screw it. I’ve had enough sucky birthdays….I’m planning this one. I reached out to five of my closest girlfriends and asked them to go to lunch with me at one of my favorite restaurants. I stopped at a local bookstore afterwards then came home and sat on my back patio reading and journaling as I watched the sun turn my back yard to gold as it set. I closed out the day with a special dinner with my family. It was perfect. I spent the day with some of my favorite people doing some of my favorite things. From then on, I decided I wasn’t going to give away my birthday anymore. I have planned my birthday every year since and now I look forward to turning another year older rather than anticipating another painful disappointment.

My birthday was this week and I chose to spend the day with my daughter who is home from her first year of college. We went to the National WWI Museum and Memorial near downtown Kansas City to run the stairs. We jammed to music on my bluetooth speaker and ended up taking goofy photos. We went to Bluebird Bistro afterward for a healthy breakfast then made our way to the Country Club Plaza to shop and get a green juice from t. Loft. We wound up the day with mani/pedis at a new non-toxic nail salon called Paint in Overland Park then trotted off to dinner with all my boys at Martin City Pizza at Mission Farms. They pampered me with gifts which I did earlier in the day as well. :) The sunny and warm day ended with a terrific lightning show as the storms made their way through Kansas City but it didn’t damper our hankering for Betty Rae’s ice cream as my final birthday treat.

We all want to feel special on the day we were born. So I say screw leaving it up to others to do that for you. Take back your birthday and plan it exactly how you want. Do the things that make you feel alive, grateful and full of joy. Only you can give yourself that gift.

Plan the trip.

Schedule the massage.

Buy yourself the car that you have always wanted.

Ask the people you care for most to be a part of your day.

Order the cake yourself.

Make the dinner reservation.

Blow up your own damn balloons.

Sprinkle confetti everywhere (because you aren’t going to vacuum it up. Not on your g.d. birthday!

Do all the things that make your heart sing, soul smile and make you feel loved…by YOU!