Does the Full Moon Make You Howl (with Big Emotions)?

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

I have never paid much attention to the moon cycles, at least not in the sense of how it may or may not affect my mood. I noticed the presence/absence of the moon when I let my dogs out to go potty at night, when I tried to sleep and annoyed at how “bright” it was, or whether or not I could see the stars at night. Sure, I oohed and ahhed when the moon rose over the eastern horizon, looming so close I swear I could reach out and touch it. But I never paid attention to how it could affect me on a deeper level.

I had a friend once mention how she couldn’t sleep when there was a full moon and that she felt almost energized at night. I thought how my sleepless nights were because of things like that late afternoon cup of coffee, my monkey mind, the middle of the night have to pee (and eventually hot flashes in the middle of the night) or the glow that penetrated my eyelids. I thought, What the hell does the moon have to do with it?, which was followed by, Sounds like you need some blackout curtains. Oh, silly, naive, little me.

I’ve been on a deep excavation personal growth journey since 2014 (I know the year because it was my first foray into the online life coaching/workshop space.) and since, I’ve uncovered a lot of self-awareness around deeply-rooted trauma, subconscious programming, and self-sabotaging. I’ve been working on bringing those things to the forefront of my consciousness rather let it linger below the surface. I think choosing to live alcohol-free-ish, meditating, and journaling has brought about major clarity and also some huge emotions, and ironically, I’ve noticed there’s like this ebb and flow to this emotional release.

And man, was there some flow the past couple of days, a flow of tears, that is.

I absolutely let loose on myself; I told myself that I was a mess, I was messing up my life, that I wasn’t living the “right” life, that I was doing everything wrong, that I was running away from hard things, that I had no purpose so stop trying to do things I was never meant to do, to stop lying to myself…all the hateful things I could think of. I even yelled at myself about how physically weak I had become (losing muscle, not as fit, and that I was pathetic.) I was just awful.

My dog even began to worry about me. He sat down next to me, nuzzled me with his nose, and pawed at me until I loved on him. I literally cried on my dog’s shoulder. Pathetic or perfect? Perhaps, a little of both.

Then, I flipped the script and started yell/coaching myself. You guys, I mean looking myself dead in the mirror, like I was a boxing coach, it was the 12th round of a fight, and I my other self was the fighter lying on the mat.

I yelled at myself to get off my ass and change things if I wasn’t happy. I told myself to stop blaming others when my own choices were the cause of unwanted outcomes in my life, for not speaking up, for not asking for what I needed, and for not doing the hard things. I yelled at myself to start owning my life, to start doing the things that made me feel whole, free, and alive—no matter what. This is my life, too, and just because I’m married or a mom doesn’t mean I can’t go, do, or say what I really want and feel.

Holy shit was that some sort of unleashing. And it happened to coincide with a full moon. Hmmm, was there something to the pull of the moon on our behaviors, emotions, etc?

Maybe all the years of pushing my emotions, wants, and needs away (alcohol, numbing out, denial, blaming others, etc.) has only made them stronger. Like they were building and building until nothing could hold them back anymore. What I’m noticing, though, is that they come crashing down in a rhythmic pattern…like the full moon. I’m not saying it’s the exact cause but I’m saying there’s a pattern I’m noticing.

My curiosity got the best of me and I found some interesting articles that seem to follow that belief.

Here are two, one from the Bustle and one from BBC.

Bustle says:

If the gravitational pull of the moon is powerful enough to affect the ocean and the earth’s axis, it doesn’t feel too farfetched to posit that it could have an influence on us humans, too.

We are made up of cells and water, just like animals and the ocean…things that are affected by the moon, so why not us?

It goes on to say:

In astrology, the full moon (which is the midpoint of the monthly lunar cycle) marks an energetic high point during which we can bring things in our life to a climax, conclusion, or release point. The moon is at peak visibility, and it’s forming an intense opposition aspect with the sun during this phase — which can definitely cause us to feel tension. "Because of its intensity, [the full moon] can make us feel anxious, manic, and emotional," Dr. Carrie Pitzulo, founder of Ancient Magic, Modern Living, tells Bustle. The full moon can also intensify your dreams or nightmares, which can leave you feeling more anxious.

That’s how I felt…like this buildup of emotion and it had nowhere to go but up and out!

BBC highlights a psychiatrist who follows the behavior of 17 of his patients that rapidly cycle through bipolar behaviors. Here’s what he found:

The Moon affects Earth in several ways. The first and most obvious is through the provision of moonlight, with a full Moon coming around every 29.5 days, and a new Moon following 14.8 days after that. Then there’s the Moon’s gravitational pull, which creates the ocean tides that rise and fall every 12.4 hours. The height of those tides also follows roughly two-week cycles – the 14.8 day “spring-neap cycle”, which is driven by the combined pull of the Moon and Sun, and the 13.7-day “declination cycle”, which is driven by the Moon’s position relative to Earth’s equator.

It is these roughly two-week cycles in the height of the tides that Wehr’s patients appear to synchronize with. It’s not that they necessarily switch into depression or mania every 13.7 or 14.8 days, “it's just that if that switch from depression to mania occurs, it doesn’t happen at just any old time, it tends to occur during a certain phase of the lunar tidal cycle,” says Avery.

Interesting, huh?

Believe me, I did feel a bit manic myself the other day 😵‍💫 but whether or not it has anything to do with the moon, it really doesn’t matter.

What matters is that I do the work of processing what I’m feeling. Releasing is actually a great thing (sans the self-flagellation) and it’s actually helped me see behaviors that aren’t serving me as well as some subconscious programming that needs to be dealt with/rewired.

Full moon or not, exploring my emotions, thoughts, and behaviors will always lead me toward self-awareness and where I need to do the work, how I can be a better me, and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

So, if you walk by my house and hear me howling, you might take a gander at the night sky and if it’s a full moon just know I’m probably just working some emotions up and out again. But check on my pets…they may need some therapy. ;)