Have you hit the middle yet? If so, has it looked a little “Dark Night of the Soul” meets Eat, Pray, Love?
If not, it’s coming.
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I’m at the beginning of my Open Nest Era. My youngest just graduated high school this past May and moved into his dorm just a few weeks ago. It still blows my mind, even though I've known this day was coming for 18 years.
In anticipation of this upcoming change in my life, I’ve started getting out more and doing “just me” things.
I tried joining a local women’s group specifically for women in the middle stage of life. I’ve been to a few group coffee dates and monthly meetings that give a recap of the past month’s events, share what’s coming up, a brief talk from a guest speaker, and maybe a fun activity to get everyone involved. It was okay for a while but over time, I’ve felt more “eh” about the whole thing. So, that’s gone by the wayside. Which is fine…at least I tried it.
I joined so that I could get to know women outside of my normal bubble and who are perhaps in the same stage of life because of one major motivation…
I’m craving female companionship.
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l know that creating lasting friendships takes a lot of time, trust, and vulnerability and that there is no “hack” to making these types of friends. So rather than waste any more time, I’ve decided to make this a priority this year.
As I reflect on why I’m lacking, I seemed to have spent a lot of my time either alone, within the boundaries of my nuclear family, or with women who my kids share activities with their kids. Rarely, and I mean rarely, have I spent a lengthy amount of time with anyone outside of that.
To me, women friends are like an elusive animal. I only see them in pictures on my phone and never out in the wild. The “we should get together” suggestions never materialize into actual plans. But then I think that maybe I am the elusive animal, that maybe I’m the one that refuses to come out of hiding?
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I’m only a couple of years away from having the proverbial “empty nest”. However, I’ve been itching to move past motherhood and into my own life for a while now. I love being a mom but I want more. Scratch that. I NEED more. I’m ready and maybe you are, too. I’m sharing my thoughts and would love to hear your thoughts/feelings in the comments.
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I’ve been focusing on being intentional about how I feel each day. My two words for 2021 are joy and connection (normally I pick one but since 2020 sucked, we get two this year). I can’t have either if I let every crappy thing that happens ruin my day. Because each “ruined” day turns into a ruined week, which turns into a ruined month, year, and so on. And that leads to a ruined (and wasted) life.
If I let things that are out of my control throw me into a downward tailspin, then I’ve given up all control of where my life takes me. What I’ve learned is that I actually choose how I show up. We all have an unlimited amount of energy within us; it’s whether or not we choose to tap into it.
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You’ve probably heard some funny quip like “this week’s been a helluva year” or “this year’s been a helluva decade.” All are true. And if you’re like me, you feel like your soul has been through the wringer. Perhaps our compasses have been knocked around a bit or our inner turmoil has been revving on high for so long that we’re all about ready to combust. Maybe you already have.
I’ve got just the book to help you get back to yourself and to feel some much needed peace. I guarantee this book will transform you.
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